Nosebleed 2: Ang aplikanteng haggard! - The Filipino Rambler


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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Nosebleed 2: Ang aplikanteng haggard!

I received this cover letter from one of our applicants..Di lang ako tumambling,napa-split din ako- una bangs -sa grammar nya.. Now,we know the reason why he has not landed a job..Medyo mahaba pero it's worth the time- guaranteed to make your nose bleed forever..

To Whom It May Concern:

I am interested in applying for any kind of positions in your company acquiring knowledge, talents and skills with showing self esteem and self confidence.( ano daw?) I had 2 years exceeding the time being unemployed no longer accepted by the company. Why I cannot hire immediately by the employer! Why does top management not approve my application to be start of our work? What do you like for me as lost without you? You are so delinquent company that you cannot hire immediately. I am so suffer who I am wanted to buy everything. I will need money for myself and my family. I want to request for those who not hire me approve right now my application. Why I am put myself in the fresh graduate jobs which I cannot matched on my college education! ( kahit grade 5 mawawala katinuan sa English na ito---now, you're wondering?! the answers are as clear as the skies! )

I am R****** E*** I****** Junior graduated in University of Perpetual Help Rizal taking Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering. I want to enroll to Hardvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts for Mastered course. (HARDVARD?!WTF!...and MASTERED COURSE?!)I had no experience on almost 2 years try my best to get a job. This jobs was dedicated to one only Amanda Leigh Mandy Moore. (HUWAT???!!!)How I am get a job in terms of my cruel intentions! I am aware for those experiences inside their career. Think the work-at- home life is all about comfy pants and leisurely cups of coffee? You may be in for some rude surprises.(LOLZ!!!Bagsik ng English talaga!)

These jobs will be dedicated to somebody who knows me. My dream will be there I am to be. (Keep dreaming!)I want to love and light for my job to give myself.(Anu daw?) What so matter I had a business on my house! Who I am not considered for the qualification for the jobs! The company's restructuring ended up in an offer for a different job a couple of weeks later (which I didn't take), but that didn't mitigate the fact that I was suddenly out of work, without my job, company car, my phone, and everything else that when along with being gainfully employed.(Mas magulo pa sa Thailand di ba?!)

In my case, it was an unexpected opportunity to change the focus of my career, so it worked out for the best in the long-run. That's been the case for other job and career changers, as well. A job seeker I know had a phone interview with a committee this week. It was actually the second interview in the hiring process. The first was a screening interview; the second was with the hiring committee.(UMPF!!!--di yan IM talk--expression na yan..lolz))

When I am conducting a job search, you need to make it easy for employers to find you online. Employers, who can be inundated(wow!) with resumes when they post jobs, often seek passive candidates (qualified candidates who aren't necessarily looking for work, but who may be interested if the right job comes along).---parang kanta lang...lolz

If I had a Facebook user and are concerned about employers (or others) seeing the personal information that I had on Facebook, I can change your I settings so only certain people, like your friends or other students, can view your profile. If I have a MySpace or Facebook page and my job searching, I may have heard that you need to be careful about the information you post. I do need to be careful, but it's also important to consider the flip side to job searching and MySpace - the companies who use it to find candidates for employment. (Tumbling una kuko!!!)

Did you know that your MySpace and Facebook profiles aren't as private as you think they are? (Wow!Thanks for the info!lolz) Employers have been known to peruse MySpace and Facebook, along with blogs and web sites of prospective employees. Networking itself is not a revolutionary concept, but how people are networking and connecting to great opportunities is changing with next-generation job sites that combine job search and networking. People can now find jobs using powerful search tools on the Web and get jobs based on the strengths of existing relationships.(anong konek?!)

Yours Faithfully,

ENGR R****** E*** I****** JUNIOR

Jusme engineer (daw)! Sumakit ang ulo ko sa cover letter mo..Obviously,no company would hire you.Bukod sa dinaig ng GRAMMAR mo ang contortionist sa husay mong umiktad,maluluma din ang aning sa takbo ng utak mo..Haru!!Need to get hanky!Balde baldeng dugo na nilabas ng ilong ko!Nosebleed ito!

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